Corn in my Poo

About the life and styling of me. Uh-leak-ee-uh.

Friday, September 26, 2008

How do you say Goodbye?

How do you say goodbye to someone you have never met? Someone that was part of you, that you felt love for, that you wanted to hold and tell you I love you more than anything in the world.

7 weeks isn't a long time, but it was long enough for me to know that I loved you.

Goodbye my little Carrot. I will see you again one day.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Falling Asleep...

Someone please please please help me.

Ok Mini Rant.

I went to the mall at lunch today to find little J a few warmer outfits... Something that really really bugs me is when people let their children run crazy through the mall running 10 feet ahead of them in and out of people stopping and staring at people. Srsly. Watch your fraking kids or keep them locked up at home.
This one little boy seriously ran in front of me. Turned around and stopped and stared right at me. His parents were WAY behind us and they just started laughing then he darted off again I almost tripped on the little Hoodlum and no one even seemed to care. Argh.

End Rant.

How Much is too much....

Cologne. Seriously. If you can smell it wafting out of someones car as they drive by... they are wearing entirely too much. I have never understood the phenomenon of bathing in your perfume or Cologne. One or two spritzes into the air then walking through it is enough to leave scent for the whole day. I think people don't understand that you get used to the scent and cannot smell it anymore but that doesn't mean others can't smell it. You don't have to do one on each side of the neck, one on each wrist, one on the front, one on the back one in your hair one on each leg one on each foot or toe or finger or whatever these people think they need to do to leave their scent on others. Gag. OMG it is even worse when the perfume bathers get a new scent... they will first bathe in it... then bring it with them and re-apply midway through the day. This is sooo UN-necessary. Please help me fight the battle of the over perfumed people in the world. Together we can make a difference.

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by saveournosesinamerica.com.

Ehh ok what else. Weaning Day 6 fail. We will just take it day by day. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Little J is seriously teething and it causing a lot of lost sleep in our house. Although I'm not gonna lie... it was kinda cute when she woke up at 12 and wouldn't go back to sleep and stood up, leaned over J's side and into his face and said DAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYYYYY as loud as she could. I giggled just a bit. Then she did her most cheesy smile and smacked him in the face until he responded. Hehehe. If mommy and baby are up daddy sure as heck better be up to, and she made sure of it.

On the Daddy thing.. why is that the minute he walks into the room she will say daddy a kamillion times over and over and over and even after he says yes baby every time but the only time she says momma (not mommy) but momma is when she wants something or is upset. :o/ I suppose this is the beginning of Daddy Girl syndrome and I will now be pushed to the way side after 14 months of waiting on her hand and foot I will from now on be the one that does stuff for her while getting no gratitude. Le sigh. It's worth every minute of it though when she cries at bed time if daddy tries to lay down with her until I come and she stops crying instantly. Insert heart melt here.

Ok Enough baby stuff.

Weekend plans. None really. My friend called yesterday and we made plans to hang out at the house on Saturday... J is going racing Saturday night and sadly we have to tag along. Blech. Sunday we will probably go to church then lounge around the rest of the day in preparation for another week. It never ends.

Almost everyone at work is out today so I will be super bored. I may pop in here a few more times to alleviate my boredom so please be sure to entertain me.

Kthxbai.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Haha...

If your hand was replaced with a Rubber stamp what would that stamp say?

Roffle.

Mine would say: Bugger off I'll get to it when I damn well please.

Boobies, Tickets, and old neighbors.

So First Boobies. Day 5 of weaning was a Fail. Little J started sneezing and coughing yesterday so of course I have to pull out my miracle cure. Breast milk. We will start over with weaning today. I'm really not in that big of a hurry... the whole reason I decided to start is that she didn't initiate it Saturday or Sunday so I thought she might be ready. I will go with Don't offer Don't refuse. The slower I wean her the less traumatic it will be for her and my boobies right?

Tickets. Srsly. I got a ticket on my way to work this morning. I came to a rolling stop at a stop sign. I swear that cop thought I was smuggling drugs or had a dead body in my trunk. He was walking all around my car looking in all my windows asking me all these questions... Where I live, Why I was in that city, Where I was going. WTF. I was dropping off my kid at my parents house and I was on my way to work. I am wearing work clothes, slacks and a blouse. What the hell do you think I am doing heading to Downtown to hook, or sell drugs. NO WAY! Then he took his sweet ass time writing up my ticket 20 minutes. It does not take that long to print out a ticket. I think they were trying to see if they could prove I was not wearing my seat belt but since there is no possible way they could prove that I wasn't before I put it on they didn't say anything about that. So I go to the website to see how much the ticket will be.... 220.00 Le Sigh. Srsly That is more than speeding in a school zone. CRAZY. However if I do Defensive driving it will only be 107. Whew. So that was my crappy morning.

Oh dude also. I kinda got P.O'd at my mom yesterday srsly. We were talking about little J and she was saying how that kid can go where water runs. Tis true. Well she was saying that she was sitting there watching her in the kitchen go into the laundry room that she is not supposed to be in then she watched her lift the box lid to the tide and stick her and in and pull it out with tide on it. I about pooped my pants. I told her she needs to put it up before she looks away and she is in it again only eating the tide and getting sick. I was pizzed. She was like I watch her like a hawk yadda yadda yadda. I griped for a few more minutes about it using the it only takes a minute line over and over, however we never came to an agreement . Then when I called back an hour later I asked her if she had put it up yet and she said yes she did as soon as we got off the phone. Whew. Crisis averted. I got there after work and of course inspected the place and she had indeed put it up. I am really super grateful to have them watch her I couldn't ask for a better place for her to be. They are also really good about doing what I ask. They don't do anything at all ever so they get lonely when she is not there so it is a win win for both of us.

Re: old neighbors. On Myspace I found and old neighbor from my childhood I hadn't seen in like 10 years. She looks the same. I'm fat and do not. Le Sigh. She's a lesbian now (well probably always was I just have confirmation). I was really really not surprised. I always got that vibe from her so good to know my gaydar isn't off. Anyways at least one good thing can come out of myspace, finding old friends. It was kinda cool.

Did you hear about Brad Pitt giving 100,000 to help stop the banning of gay marriage. I really don't understand the need to have it banned. If it is not hurting you why the hell do you care. Leave the fraking gays alone if they want to be gay and married let them. Geez. I really don't understand the concept of needing to dictate what everyone does. I don't understand how being married and having someone to have rights to your children or worldly possessions needs to be an issue. It's not like letting them be married is forcing you to be gay and marry someone of the same sex it is just letting them do it. WHO CARES!!! AARRRRGGGGGGGG.

OK That's all for now I suppose. I will probably think about something to rant about later.
Peace and chicken grease.

Monday, September 15, 2008

No more Boobies?

Today is day 3 of weaning. Doing good. Last night when we laid down she suddenly remembered she enjoyed bed time boobies and had a bit of a fit, then I turned her away from me and she forgot and fell asleep. I am binding today hoping to avoid being engorged. Here's hoping.

I am feeling off today. Have been for a few days. I am tired. Cranky. Generally annoyed with J. I am assuming it is PMS.

Haven't had a whole lot to blog about lately. This chick I work with pissed me off royally yesterday. Srsly ruined my day.

We are trying to figure out what we are going to do for our anniversary this year. 5 years. wow. Ok well it's next year like february but whatever. We are thinking about going to the smokey mountains and getting a cabin. I would love love love to do that. So here's hoping we make it happen and don't wait until the last minute to make plans. This would mean leaving little J for a few days. I haven't even left her overnight yet how will I manage days. Oye.

Not a whole lot going on in my life. Wish there was more, or maybe not. As I quite enjoy things calm.

Ok so what do you think about Miley Cyrus dating a 20 y.o? If it was my 15 year old daughter I don't care how in the spotlight she is there is no way in hell I would be letting her date a 20 y.o. there is so much difference in 20 and 15 it is not even funny. She is going to be the next Jaime Lynn. I hope not as she seems to be a decent chick but nothing good can come of this matchup. I am sure they will be broken up sooner rather than later but still it make me want to puke just a little bit. He is kinda hot though.
End Rant.

I guess I will try to go work out at lunch today. I am feeling a bit bloated and miserable.

God this is the worst blog ever. I really should stop while I am ahead.

At least I am not blogging about my shopping trip and the groceries I got and how they raised the price of suger that would for sure be more boring than the senseless crap I just posted.

I went back to this website I used to frequent since I got banned from the other one I used to frequent and have a helluva time getting around the ban. i really have no clue where I was going with that statement as I got up and got candy before I finished my thought. so yea.

This other chick I work with rips pieces of her face off every time she waxes and it is quite humerous so I enjoy the making fun I get to do when she does wax.

Ehh I'm done now. I have nothing else.

Please stay tuned for more meaningless nonsense from me.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

It's Caturday!!!!!

njoy.













Friday, September 12, 2008

Note to Self

Threatening to staple one's Vag is not acceptable in the workplace.

Dually noted.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Pull up, Then pull down, Provided by mgmt for your protection.

Ok Seriously.

What pisses me off more than what I posted yesterday (colorful signature shoes and purses and such) People that go to the building provided gym (that we used to have to pay for and is now free) in their freaking work clothes and shoes, and play around with the gym equipment that I want to use while eating a fraking bowl of fruit.

Srsly. Go somewhere else that one leg extension every 3 minutes and those three chest pulls and whatever other minuscule thing you did while wasting my time isn't going to do anything for your flabby ass and arms so go somewhere else if you are not serious. I want to actually use those machines, I am sweating and trying to make a difference and you are just taking up space and oxygen while I am trying to get my work out on. I am so going to talk to mgmt if they come down there again and fiddle fart while I am trying to work out... I mean srsly they had sandals on. Not even workout shoes dress sandals. Arrgh. End rant.

Ok so my friend has this blog and it is kicking my ass... she is a great writer she cracks me up. I really need to step up my game but I cannot for the life of me come up with enough to blog about 3 times a day... she will probably let up when the newness of blogging wears off as it did for me. She is just copying me anyways.. hehe. Love you WA.

What else... little J learned how to say her cousins name last night. Freaking cute.

Ike is coming for realz. We are supposed to get 4-6 inches of rain between Saturday and Sunday... the last time we were srsly affected by a hurricane was 1983 it's name was Alicia. Whoadang. Is that what my mom named me after. She said it was a cute little girl on roller skates... I think she lied and named me after a hurricane. I mean we did think my brothers name was a biblical name until he was searching himself on the Internet and found out it was a rock song... yea my grandparents were a little blindsided with that one.

We had this awesome pizza for lunch it was bacon and hamburger. OMG Delightful. Best pizza ever. I feel like a stuffed pig. I worked out hard so I had to balance it out by stuffing myself with pizza and salad.

I guess that's it.

I need something really good to blog about. WA is killing me. Leave suggestions.

kthxbai.

Shalalala Don't be scared you got the music there go on and kiss the girl...

Whoa. That was a long blog title. However you now have the song stuck in your head so it's all gravy baby.

Did anyone watch Fashion Rocks Last Night? The host took a really freaking hilarious cheap shot at BS last night. Lurved it. It was a great show and it benefited Stand up to Cancer so I was pleased.

Have you read this story yet?!?

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20080909/Toddler.in.Trunk/

All I have to say is what the hell was this woman thinking. Driving around for 2 months with her dead sons body in the trunk that is just disgusting. They haven't determined the cause of death but I surmise from what her aunt said that she killed him. I hope she gets the electric chair... do they do that anymore? They really should. Ecspecially for this idiot. Also what kind of name is manywhitehorses? Native american? Why did her aunt get a name like Ernastine and she got Manywhitehorses.... I also thought they got native american names that meant things like that but not actually the english versions of it... Whatevs she is a freaking moron. Our world would be a better place without her. Harsh yes. Truth yes.

So my Random thought for the day is this..... I have a friend named reese... he's Bite Size!

I have a pile of work up to my boobs to do. I am gigantor so if the pile reaches my boobs it has got to be big.

Dude speaking of boobs I was taking a bath last night and all of a sudden my nipples started burning then I realized the running water had reached my nipples much sooner than the rest of my boobs... my boobs = saggy. It was sad. 1 more kid then I am getting a boob job. d's for sure.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Hynesararirus a rapapatatme

Ever heard that song? It's a good one.

I wish I was a Hynesararirus a rapapatatme a hahaha but since I'm not and never will be a Hynesararirus a rapapatatme I'm a june bug.... I'm an egg head... I'm gonna run and bash my head against the wall....

Weeeeeeee baaaaamm splat.

Ok so that was throw back to my childhood days, I had this friend whose step mom had all these random songs.. don't know if they were real or made up but they were funny and the above song is currently stuck in my head.

It's is raining cats and dogs here. Speaking of; have you ever smelt a wet dog disfreaking-gusting. Srsly. They are all nasty and wet smelling then they come in and shake their stoopid bodies all over your house and get all nasty wet dog smell every where. Hoark. Wet dogs should be banned from society. Good thing my dog is not a wet dog he is currently in his kennel at home enjoying his nice warm cozy blanket and not having to hang out in the rain.

Arrghhh my fraking phone won't quit ringing.

Do circles on a girls calander make you think she started her period? Just wondering.

I worked out today I am tizzired.

My baby was fussface last night srsly. J and I shared 2 pieces of cake... and then we heard her rumbling so I went to check on her and she was wide awake stayed that way until 10ish... not sue what us having cake had to do with it, maybe I wanted you all to know that I am a fat cow that eats cake. Who knows.

Do people that owe you money but always say they can't pay you back then go and spend 200 on clothes and junk piss you off? They do me. Srsly pay your debts.

This chick I work with is pregnant. There I blogged about her.

Ehh... that's all for now. Uneventful blogging for today.

Peace out.

Everybody Wang Chung Tonight?!?

Does anyone know what that means? I found out via the internet but I am not sure I found the right meaning... so comment me and let me know what you think it means.

I'll be back later with a much more meaningful post.

Monday, September 8, 2008

NPOTD (not nasty just stupid)

Caption This. Stolen from a very popular website but now the little peeps can have fun too.


To blog or not to blog.

Not really a question but whatever.

A lot has happened in my life since my last blog. The biggest being I lost a very good group of friends. It left me very sad and alone... however I have realized I cannot mope about it forever. I love each and everyone of them and I wish them all the very best in life.
I finished painting my kitchen and family room and hanging new blinds; woot. Then my Mother in law came over and I asked what she thought and she said... oh I didn't realize you changed anything... WTF?!?!
J taught Little J to say sit. It comes out shit he laughs she laughs good times.
I was sick. Am better now.
My driveway is blocked because J and his brother J (too many j's in my life) are putting an engine in a stupid race car... I said if you don't get it out of my effin driveway by sunday night I am calling a tow truck. Alas sunday night comes my driveway is still blocked. Le sigh.

What is going on in the world?
Britney spears won at the VMA's? HUH?!?! Is it 1999 again? She is KLASSY. Ima get some life pointers from her. I needz um.

Ike is coming. Tell Tina to hide. Heh.
J.k I hear it's bad I haven't done a whole lot of reading on it as I have not been at work since thursday and that is the time I spend perusing the web so I will read up and know more and report it's happening for all you ppl that care. Or don't care... whatev.

Srsly I just found Gymboree today... don't ask me how I have overlooked it in the last year but I have fallen in love. I want it, I need it, oh baby oh baby.

What else what else. I farted in the break room this morning when I was making my bagel... damn good thing no one was in there.... NASSTY.

K Ima go find a NPOTD Brb.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

WHAT?!?!

$653.00 Ima go cry in a corner now.

please send donations.

Giddyup horsey. NPOD

Wrong on so many levels.


Babies, Rain, and Broke Cars.

Okay first I want to address the Hurricane, it didn't turn out to be as bad as everyone expected and I am so happy for that. The levies held, people got out. It was a much better planned hurricane than ones in the past. I think in all 8 people died, those families are in my prayers, but the pumps that keep the city dry did not fail this time so all in all I think the city is going to be ok.

2nd babies. So it was announced after much speculation that she faked her last pregnancy that Sarah Palin's 17 yo daughter is pregnant. I say, Who cares. Srsly. She is 17 considered an adult in many states. I am not saying I am any more voting for McCain than I wasn't before I'm just saying who really cares. I don't think this makes Sarah any less of a mother or a bad person for putting her daughter in the public eye. The girl made a mistake and she is dealing with it. I don't think that Palin should put her life on hold because her daughter couldn't keep a penny between her knees... now as for going back to work 3 days after her disabled son was born... I am not sure how I feel about that... I will need lots more infoz before I comment... Ehhh whatever I wish the young girl luck as she is sure as hell gonna need it.

Cars. DH's truck broke down... ok not really broke down but it will randomly click then only go 15 miles an hour. They are saying it will be 250 to just diagnose it. That's diagnonsense if you ask me. Whatev's everyone's gotta make a dime ehh?

We went to Galveston this weekend, had a blast. The kid had a grand ole time getting all dirty. She chased a bird down the beach, freaking adorable. I also heard rumor that there were people doing the nasty in the ocean in broad daylight with a ton of people around... heh?

Okay that's all for now.
Stay tuned later today for the nasty picture of the day.